Many of my friends know that I don't see my parents very much, even though they live in Hong Kong. I usually explain that my family members are all very independent and we don't seem to have this need or habit to see each other frequently in order to feel close. This is true, yet I realized last night that there was more to it.
My parents tend to have this perception that if their daughter is always busy at work and travelling, it must be that everything is going well for her whether in career or in relationship. They believe that their daughter is very tough, and nothing/ no one can harm her. In view of recent 1.5 years still meeting up with them with the same boyfriend, they probably think that her relationship is a happy and healthy one, and marriage is a pretty definite plan down the road.
I don't want to burst the bubble. I don't want to break the news to them, that their daughter does not live a perfect, fairytale life. That life is just as cruel to her as everyone else. When I visit my parents, I tell them about my trips and other things that aren't too personal. I don't want to let them down.
I remember when I was only 3 or 4, my mom was going through a very tough phase and was in a depressive state, telling me her problems, and telling me to find a man who truly loves me and cares about me when I grow up. I was too young to understand fully what she was saying, but I knew she was in great pain and suffering. All I could do was cry and nod, to indicate I understood. Now that I am a grown-up and my mom is like a cheerful, bubbly little kid most days, I can't bear to do a reverse role play to her. I can't tell her how much burden I'm feeling, how much stress I get from work, how much worries I have over my relationship and my future.
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