Favourite Things

Top of the list: Kevin of course :)









Havaianas collection












My DVD collection. Just clicked into it (by the way, resolution is poor as I took it with phone's camera) and saw this DVD which I should've returned to the owner months ago. Oh well, too late.









Kate Spade shades.





My many beautiful pictures... (I mean the beautiful pictures I took, not necessarily of me!)










Painting from Rio framed beautifully and now hanging on my living room wall. Saudade!









Evita hairclips I keep losing when I go swimming in the sea.








These are only a few of my many vases in the apartment.















Cartier pen I received last year as a gift. I carry it with me in my purse everywhere I go.

My ridiculous collection of earrings (these are only some of my favourites)









My other jewelry/ accessory collection.






These brushed wood picture frames I got from a Bangkok night market.









This mirror I carried all the way back from Bangkok. Also from the same night market.











My custom-made pretty dresses










My wicker chair













Bottle of nice cachaca.











White TV.







Super heavy, but white, Sony VAIO laptop.
















Watch I now wear everyday.





My favourite rock (a souvenir) from New York I no longer travel with or even touch, and my favourite bracelet (wrist strap) I no longer own.

I Don't Want to Talk about It

One of the songs I sing in the shower. Brings tears to my eyes each time I sing it:
I can tell by your eyes that you've prob'bly been cryin' forever,
and the stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror.
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the color of my heart;
blue for the tears, black for the night's fears.
The star in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror.
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
if I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke this ol' heart.

If I stay here just a little bit longer,
if I stay here, won't you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
My heart, whoa, heart.

Logic

A friend asked me: how do you know if a relationship is worth fighting for?

I think it's worth fighting for for as long as you're not the only person believing in it. It'll always be a lost battle if you're the only believer.

I was telling a friend: if you're the only person cheering for a sports team and the players themselves look defeated and tell you they feel they are crap, then it's pointless for you cheering them on.

I feel very sad when my friend gets all hurt and heartbroken in a relationship, because I know how much effort she has put into it, how much she loves that person, and yet he often says the most insensitve, hurtful things to harm her. As a friend, I want her to leave him of course, because he is completely taking her for granted, but I know she keeps forgiving him and hoping he'd eventually come to his senses. At times like this, I really feel like relationship is god's punishment to some people.

This makes me feel sad. Very very sad. You know me... I always naively believe in love... that if you love someone strong enough, you'd put down your stupid ego to keep that person with you forever and ever. If you love that person enough, you can't bear to hurt her and see her cry. That's my logic and I don't know of any other logic in relationships. So whenever I hear about or I myself experience heartbreaks, my explanation is that the love is not strong enough. The love is so great... but it's not strong enough.

I am feeling very sentimental tonight and I can't explain it.

My boyfriend is an attackman

One of my recent interests is watching Kevin play lacrosse. Just yesterday, he had another match in Happy Valley and I went to watch it. It was an exciting game and was such fun to watch when he played the sport so passionately and so well! Out of 7 goals by his team, he scored 4, with an additional 2 assists!

Comfort Zone - Part 2

You know, I realize that when a girl has some relationship questions, she should definitely not talk to a male friend to seek some reassurance! She'll only freak out realizing what men really think, how insensitive they are.

I happened to be up early on a Sunday morning and chatting with a male friend.....

I say:
how's everything ah?

lonewolf says:
same old i guess
work wise i got a promotion a while ago

I say:
that's good la

lonewolf says:
but no big jump in salary because of the market but the firm offered me to pay my whole tuition fee
so i guess that is good..
relationship wise same old.. not much excitment but lots of fights

I say:
oh dear... hey, can i ask you sth about relationship

lonewolf says:
yeah? sure

I say:
why do men think that a relationship will remain strong if they do nothing special to creat sparks?
i was having this discussion w/ friend in singapore last night. a guy friend.
he couldn't understand why women hope to have some freshness in the relationship

lonewolf says:
because any big ego asshole like myself would always expect to receive something special regardless of how little effort that he is giving
we always want to give the minimum effort and get the best result out of it
also we perfectionist (is that how you spell that word) tend to think if it ain't broken, why fix it - so we tend to spend our energy/effort on something else
because we take it for granted that when a relationship is working.. it will work for the rest of our life
and so once it reaches certain maturity we will then look at something else like.. more guys nights.. more favourite football games on tv etc

I say:
oh my god that really really scares me. and it scares me not because you said it out loud, but because it's really true, that men think like that.
man, i'm freaking out. not that there's any problem with my relationship right now, but to think, and start to sense that it could POTENTIALLY turn into that.... it truly freaks me out. :S

Comfort Zone - Part 1

I was talking to my silly friend in SG just now about "comfort zone in a relationship". The question I posed was: How can you get comfortable in a relationship without getting too comfortable?

Excerpt from our conversation (obtained permission from SY to post parts of our discussion, with some minor editing done) -

SY says:
the reality of it is that... the honeymoon gazing in eyes thingy will eventually fade... but when comes special moments like birthdays, anniversaries... these will be the moments that u go that extra mile and buy whip cream
Cindy Tang says:
aiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that's the problem DUDE!
SY says:
HK no whip cream?
Cindy Tang says:
girls don't want to feel special only on special festive days!
SY says:
girls can be sooooo difficult... haiya....
Cindy Tang says:
back to the subject. girls don't want to feel like relationship, marriage... are the end of romance... you see, we have to give up the "excitement" of dating other people to be in a relationship
SY says:
takes 2 hands to clap... guys some times like for girls to initiate it too.
Cindy Tang says:
and we hope that we can get the same passion and excitement in our current relationship so it won't feel like it's any loss to be in a serious, monogamous, faithful relationship
and we hope that we can some level of passion, excitement, freshness in our current relationship
SY says:
well... look at it this way... you watch tropic thunder 1x and you get all the jokes fresh and it amuses u. you watch it a 2nd time and u pick up of those you might have missed the 2nd time rd and laugh albeit lesser... repeat the process and what happens?
Cindy Tang says:
it's different! because, in this example, the movie never changes! but when you are with someone, that someone can change, and interact with you differently, or talk about different things with you
and the movie doesn't have feelings! your gf does!
SY says:
needless to say, the bf will prob be the same person and won't change much. the excitement and adrenaline that you get from new men... key word being new. so the harsh reality is... there will come a point that you know him inside out... he won't excite you the same way as per the beginning.... but in a different sort of way

sure... his exposes would be new... but the underlying character is more or less the same
Cindy Tang says:
you can know someone inside out, but what you experience with that person can change!
if you make an effort that is
SY says:
of course... but u need to realise that it will get harder over time to find new experiences involving the 2 of u that is completly novel
Cindy Tang says:
IF only, you can still make the effort to ask her out on a date every now and then... surprise her occasionally.... it could break that chain of boredom
it doesn't have to be novel
it can be something you've done before, but not periodically... anticipated
SY says:
and how would it still be a surprise if it happens too regularly? causal loop
Cindy Tang says:
and of course it takes BOTH to make that effort
i said not regularly...
i'm not trying to criticize you dear
SY says:
sure. actually... there's not 1 size fits all solution. it really all depends on the chemistry of the couple.
Cindy Tang says:
i'm just saying... there are things one can do to make a long term relationship fresh
SY says:
then if not regularly enuff... you feel it lacking.
Cindy Tang says:
and really, most girls do crave for that
SY says:
it's a thin line
Cindy Tang says:
that extra effort really makes us feel special
SY says:
well.. u know what is true romance? just sharing quite time with the person and yet feeling no lack. it's all in the chemistry.
Cindy Tang says:
hehehehehe
that is comfort not romance
male and female will always see things so differently... :I
SY says:
embrace that... it's the beauty of it.
Cindy Tang says:
not beautiful when it causes boredom and tension
SY says:
look at it this way... if u were dating a guy with girl traits.... "CAT FIGHT"
Cindy Tang says:
*faints*
SY says:
hahahah girls are more sensitive and guys are more indifferent. that forms a balance.
if girl is sensitive and guy's a snag... bad combination
Cindy Tang says:
if you truly love someone, and you know that you can do something simple - though not significant to you - to make that person feel happy and special, why wouldn't you do it?
Why would you choose to DO NOTHING, to make her feel anxious, taken for granted, unattractive, unspecial?
SY says:
it's becos while girls get the luxury of being emotional, guys tend to be more rational and that complements the 2 emotions.
sure... i will do it. but guys are usless... u need to tell them what exactly are these things... at least some kind of guideline.
Cindy Tang says:
how difficult is it to spend 80 sgd to buy some flowers if that would make her happy?
SY says:
i just did exactly that... even in terms of price. did i tell you?
Cindy Tang says:
or just buy her a card to tell her you're happy you're with her?!
SY says:
i did that also...
Cindy Tang says:
sounds gay, but it makes a difference and it takes ZERO effort
you only did that for her recently
SY says:
yeah... but still....
Cindy Tang says:
you probably stopped in past few years!
SY says:
well... if i salvage this... am sure i'll do it more often

I'm not sure if we came to any conclusion/consensus, haha... If anything - that male and female will never understand each other?

I guess what I'm trying to say - on behalf of other women - is that women do need to feel loved, attractive, desired, cherished, special. Yes, a lot of us women may have a great career but our ultimate confidence does come from men. Trust me, I'm not proud of this, but I have to admit it's true. I've done some motivational research among women a few years ago for work and have personally interviewed women from all walks of life - the results confirmed this. When we are single, we get such confidence from our different admirers. When we do decide to get into a serious relationship, it's because we feel that this guy alone is enough to make us feel special, without the need for other admirers. Yet, to sustain such confidence, we need reassurance every now and then, to feel in love. We prefer not to get such reassurance from other men around us (pursuers/ men who check us out on the street... in the restaurant...), but the person we're with. Aiya, we women will never understand why men just don't understand. =P