Box

I remember half a year ago I had a hypnosis session asking the healer to help me take away that immense pain in my heart, that block in my throat I was feeling after my then boyfriend and I separated. The hypnotist kept telling me to visualize and feel that pain and block to its full, then visualize myself putting it into a box, locking it, putting it down on the ground, and slowly walking away from it, saying goodbye. I did what he told me to, and I was healed.

This morning, when I woke up, I recalled this experience, and I cried and I cried and I cried. I realized that with the other person, I had put the pain, the memories and all the feelings in a box - but I had been carrying that box with me wherever I went. Whenever I thought of that person, I would dismiss that thought and think about something else. Yet, such thoughts have been popping up all the time, like flies buzzing around my head. I know I need to put the box down, bury it somewhere at some point.

I am now starting to remind myself: How can you not put the box down, when that person thinks it's a mistake falling in love with you, that it's naive to want to be with you?

I don't want to be anyone's mistake.
.....................................

I went on a date today, and just now the guy called me and asked how I could manage to try and love someone (not necessarily him) again without being afraid of getting hurt again. I said,"there is no guarantee I won't have my heart crushed again, but if I never try again, I will never experience love again, and my life will never have a chance to be complete. I fall, I lift myself up, and I try again.... Emm... and yes, I may fall again... and repeat the process (haha) until finally I can stand still with someone for a long time and be truly happy."

He replied,"I knew you would have a good answer."