He asked me to change, to not nitpick. I agreed. However he believed his actions were all provoked by me so he didn't have a problem, he didn't need to change.

I told my brother. He asked if I wanted to be taken for granted my whole life, or I wanted my dignity back. I said I wanted my dignity.

I feel sorry for my now-ex. He is so consumed by his own monster he puts the blame on me. He will never have a happy relationship if he never allows himself not to stay angry over the tiniest things. All I ask of him is to not hold a grudge, to forgive. He decides that he needs a long time to get over his anger. Fine. I won't live with it - I don't see how I can walk on egg shelves for the rest of my life, bottling up when I am not happy about something, just so I don't get the angry treatment overnight, and be totally ignored for days until his anger goes away.

I thought this relationship would be different - that I wouldn't need to play those hard-to-get mind games just to have the upper hand. I put in everything and let him know how important he was to me, and I ended up being so taken for granted. I really thought this was the simple relationship I had longed for. I totally trusted this person and he ended up giving me up cos "I made him an angry person".

I don't know why I keep making such terrible mistakes with relationships..... When can I finally find that person who loves me unconditionally and truly puts me first, before his big ego? I came from a disfunctional family and I long to have my own warm, happy family one day. Where IS that person?

My brother said to me,"Cindy you were born special and you will never have a simple life you claim you want. You deserve someone amazing who appreciates you for who you are, and is willing to tolerate your weaknesses, not asking you to bottle up. Accept it. You are special and strong, and you will find that special someone. Now you have to find yourself again first."

I lost my home and boyfriend and his wonderful parents in one night. I do feel lost, defeated and destroyed. I'm glad I found love and support from my brother in Canada. He is also in an abusive relationship (him being abused!), and he just got out of it as the girl just couldn't change.