從前很愛哭, 應該說, 常常哭. Sometimes they were tears of joy or saudade (大慨是懷念的意思), but most times they were tears of self-pity, feeling so sorry for myself for whatever happened (being mistreated, neglected, let down.....). 有時一個人的時候哭得很可憐, 連自己都想give自己a big hug.
昨晚有一點兒失樂/不安, 但就是哭不出來! And then I realized that when I stopped feeling like I deserved to be treated well in life, I stopped victimizing myself, and l lost a good reason to cry. There was no longer a little girl in me that I felt sorry for and wanted to protect. Yes, there might still be a hint of sadness or disappointment, but I accepted that sometimes I made mistakes about other people, whether it was a misunderstanding, a misinterpretation, wrong expectation, or simply a mismatch, and...找錯了門牌,沒什麼大不了...繼續找吧!
這樣mellow有點不慣, 好像吃了tranquilizer! ha ha
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